


Rainfall

by Tiara_of_Sapphires



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Fix-It, Fuck You JJ, TRoS Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21908734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiara_of_Sapphires/pseuds/Tiara_of_Sapphires
Summary: It never rained on Tatooine, until Rey arrived to bury what was left of the Skywalkers.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 9
Kudos: 156





	Rainfall

**Author's Note:**

> Listen, fuck that ending. Fuck this movie. Fanfiction forever.  
> [Big thanks to Mneme (bittersnake) for looking this over!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittersnake)  
> Enjoy!

She sat in the _Millennium Falcon_ for two weeks before she could set foot on Tatooine. While part of it was that the grief almost choked her at the thought of going outside, the main reason was that she knew that going outside would likely kill her.

She almost died trying to descend to the planet’s surface to begin with. The swirling winds and near-constant lightning had her frantically maneuvering to keep the _Falcon_ from being tossed around like a piece of flimsi in the wind.

As she she landed, the Falcon shuddered as water swept under the landing gears, water that would easily take Rey’s legs out from under her and carry her away if she dared step outside.

While part of her thought that fate wasn’t the worst in the world, she hunkered down for hours which turned into days.

It was the rain of a century and of course it had to begin right as she was attempting to make her solemn pilgrimage.

She looked out the viewport to a world that looked exactly how Rey felt.

Grey, dreary, and so, so cold.

She really did try to be happy in front of the others. They had won the war; the First Order, the Final Order, were gone. They didn't have to live in fear any longer.

All she could think about the soft plush of his lips, that wide smile. How he went limp in her arms as his life left him.

He returned to the Force, leaving nothing behind for her but his clothes. She couldn't even bury him.

She still plastered a smile on her face as her friends adjusted to their post-war reality. The secrets of her family and what happened on Exegol she kept down like pressing the hood over a malfunctioning speeder engine.

There was no body to carry back, so they didn't need to know. The Supreme Leader died in their minds, and that was all that mattered. It was one less enemy, one more loose end all tied up.

She had to resist the urge to scream whenever he was mentioned. They didn't know what he did for her and for them. They would never know, because she knew they wouldn’t understand.

She kept Luke and Leia’s sabers wrapped in his shirt.

It felt like dying all over again, looking that them. They were symbols of her ultimate failure.

She would bury them, when the rain stopped. She would bid farewell.

The rain would stop eventually.

BB-8 cooed softly to wake her up from where she slept in the pilot’s chair.

The first thing she noticed was the silence and the sunlight pouring through the viewport. The rain had ended, but it left a pit in her stomach.

She had arrived at her destination. She could sense it. The homestead, the broken home of the Skywalkers.

Rey tore her eyes from the viewport and grabbed the bundle. Soon, it would be over.

She stepped out and into an inch of water. Her eyes drew across the ground to see the sky, blue and brilliant.

Rey couldn't help but marvel at it.

The world had turned into a mirror. The lingering storm clouds bustled over two planes.

Those clouds and the water would soon disappear under the twin suns, but it was beautiful to watch.

Rey stepped further towards the homestead. The inside had flooded, leaving it impossible for her to explore. That was fine. She had no mood for exploring.

Instead, she walked around the outside of it. Water sloshed and rippled around her feet with every step. A distant part of her wondered how far the ripples would carry, but knowing that it was a wasteland, it really didn't matter.

Finally, on the northern end of the homestead, she stopped. This place felt right. She didn't know why, but it felt like burying them at that spot felt right.

Rey knelt into the water, wincing as it soaked into her pants. It wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t quite warm either.

She took out the bundle and undid it in her lap.

Leia and Luke’s sabers, Ben’s shirt. Rey knew there was one thing missing.

Rey pulled out Han’s blaster and set it on top of the two blades. It only seemed appropriate that they would all be buried together.

With shaking hands, she folded the shirt over them. She let it rest in her lap for a moment before setting it in front of her.

Unbidden, the water parted for her, leaving dry sand for the resting place.

Rey held out her hand, reaching out. Soon, it would be over. She would end this, as best as she could.

Her breath hitched in her chest, as it felt as if she had tapped into something deeper.

She could sense them. She could sense _him_.

Han, so faded he was barely perceptible, gave her that grin before turning and walking into the distance to disappear.

Luke, bright in his power, nodded to her with wisdom.

Leia, with all the mother’s love, smiled softly.

The twins turned and faded. All three were gone, but their presence lingered.

Finally, Ben, her love. He didn't have Jedi robes, only the same simple shirt and pants that he had died in.

He didn't turn, he only watched with that soft smile that haunted her dreams.

“Goodbye,” she murmured.

The bundle sunk into the sand, so deep that not even the most dedicated scavenger could find it, returning it to the Force in the only way she could. The water rippled as it closed over the void, the bands stretching for miles.

Ben’s face faded from her mind and she was empty once again.

She had been still for so long that the water had become a mirror once again, only slightly disturbed by the faint breeze.

Rey stared at herself and wished she could see Ben staring back at her.

She watched her expression waver from stoic stillness to something raw. Her face twisted and finally, that first horrible sob bubbled up.

Rey had wept enough since Exegol to last her for the rest of her life, and still, it didn't seem like it was enough.

It was that horrible, aching absence. Even when they were on opposite sides of the war, their bond had been always been there.

Now it was snuffed out and she couldn't even reach him through meditation.

She didn't understand _why_.

Sorrow turned to anger, quickly. She wanted to break and burn. She wanted the whole damn galaxy to feel as terrible as she did.

She wished she had died. At least the poison within her veins would end with her. Because of her, Luke, Han, and Leia died for nothing. She gave them what burial she could, gave them what respect they deserved, but it would never be enough.

Their boy was dead, so far from her that she couldn't reach him.

“I just got you and you couldn't bother to stay with me? You couldn't stay alive for me?” she howled, ramming her fists against the water and watching her reflection shatter into a thousand wavering fragments.

“I wanted no part in this,” she whispered.

She wasn’t sure who she was talking to. From the moment that BB-8 found her to this very moment, she had been given everything and had it all taken away. Maybe, it would have been better to never have it at all.

Rey sat there as morning turned to noon turned to dusk. Her clothes were soaked through. She could hear BB-8 call to her from the landing ramp. He wanted her to return, to at least eat something.

She ignored him.

The twin suns disappeared under the horizon, casting orange across the landscape.

The light faded, and then, there were stars.

Hundreds and thousands reflected off of the water and she was surrounded by starlight. It felt divine, a pittance from beings who cared just enough about her to grant her this rare sight.

She would rather get Ben Solo back, she supposed it would have to do.

Her stomach sunk as fatigue closed over her. She was so tired.

Rey went to stand, to at least get back onto the _Falcon_ , but she found herself falling back down. The water sloshed around her, but the reflections didn't waver.

The last thought she had before numb sleep washed over was that the stars looked very bright, almost too bright, from where they reflected off of the water.

* * *

* * *

Waking up felt like returning from the dead.

She was so cold. Jakku nights could be cold, but this was the kind that seeped into her bones. She hesitated to open her eyes.

“Rey.”

That voice was like a knife to the chest. A dream, a hallucination.

“No,” she mumbled.

She wanted it to leave. She wanted it to stay. Either way, she was going to be miserable about it.

“Rey, come on. Get up.”

The plea was enough to open her eyes, only to see a black-clothed figure standing above her.

“Ben?” she croaked.

This wasn’t a Force ghost. He was too solid-looking, lacking that ethereal glow she had seen in Luke.

“Rey, what are you doing?” he asked.

The concern in his voice reaching into her heart and crushed it in her chest. She sat up and she immediately felt dizzy.

“You’re not real. You died. You died in my arms.”

She knew the hallucinations that came from the desert. This wasn’t right.

“And yet, here I am,” he said.

It sounded so familiar, that blasé tone. She had missed it like she missed the air in her lungs, but it still brought anger all the same. Did he know what his loss did to her?

She shook her head, scrambling backwards, noticing distantly that the sandy ground underneath her was dry as bone.

“You left!” she spat. “I loved you and there was nothing I could do to bring you back.”

Was this just one last punishment from Palpatine? He had her parents killed and lead to Ben’s death, allowing him to dangle in front of her, to taunt her?

“Rey, please.”

He reached out for her and she wanted to push him away from the Force, but it was as if all her energy had been sapped from her.

“Why are you doing this to me?” she croaked. “I did everything I could.”

“You did.”

Rey struggled to stand. It was too much. It was impossible.

She glanced at the ground to see that they were standing in a perfect circle of dry sand. Most of the water beyond that circle had evaporated, but it left just enough to reflect the sunlight.

Rey watched him and backed away. He watched her and stepped forward, step for step, until they reached the outer edge of the water.

He followed her into the water and she almost sobbed at what she saw.

With every step, the water moved around his feet. And what was more, his reflection stretched along the water, just as hers did.

Force ghosts didn't cast shadows and didn't have reflections. This was no trick of the mind or conjuring of the Force.

This was…

_Search your feelings. You know it is true._

“How are you here?” she breathed.

She wanted to cry. He was here, but she couldn't hope for it to be true.

He shrugged those broad shoulders. “I don’t know. One moment I wasn’t here, the next, I was.”

Rey nodded dumbly before stumbling forward. Each step was loud and clumsy and Ben’s eyes widened like she was going to either collapse or punch him.

She did neither.

Instead, she grabbed two handfuls of his shirt and pulled him close.

“Damn you,” she breathed, before smashing her lips to his.

Ben kissed her back with equal fervor, one hand clutching her hip and the other cupping her face like she was a delicate piece of porcelain.

They pulled back just enough to breathe.

He was alive. He was _alive_.

She smiled through a choked sob. She missed him so much.

“Why did you do it?” she asked.

His eyes were filled with tears. “Do what?” he whispered.

Her throat worked around the words. Thinking about Exegol was painful, about the last moments they had together. “Bring me back? You should have known that it was a life for a life.”

His hand skimmed over her cheek. “You’re too precious to me. I couldn't let you go. If I had to die, so be it.”

She laughed and cried in the same breath. _Precious_.

“And now you’re here.”

“And now, I’m here.”

She glanced over his shoulder, back towards the homestead. Now that her mind was clearer, something felt odd. The sorrowful emptiness that surrounded the homestead felt lighter, almost hopeful.

“Something happened here,” she mumbled.

“Yes.”

There were no stories in the Jedi texts that would explain it. She supposed, she would need to document this for herself.

That thought was chased from her mind as Ben took her hand.

“Let’s get off of this rock,” he said.

Rey nodded. She hated desert planets.

“Let’s.”

Rey watched as Ben took a couple steps towards the _Falcon_. Realizing she had the rest of her life to look at him brought a fresh wave of tears.

“You know, it’s been years since I’ve flown on that ship,” he murmured.

Rey walked forwards, pulling his hand as they approached the descending ramp.

“I could use a copilot.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed!  
> [Here’s my Tumblr! Feel free to follow!](https://tiaraofsapphires.tumblr.com/)  
> All feedback is appreciated! Comments/kudos feed me and definitely motivate me to write more stories!  
> Cheers!


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